Thoughts of a Deranged Fly

It seems every day we have a few straggler flys that sneak in somewhere…somehow.  They are aggravating to say the least.  I’m always wondering what’s going through their tiny brains, which lead to the inspiration for this short creative writing.  Enjoy!

Thoughts of a Deranged Fly

“Wooo-heeeee!” Thought the shiny green fly as he made a beeline toward the bathroom lightbulb.  He paused as he landed behind the light on the wall.  Taking flight again, he circled around the room three times and spotting an inhabitant of the house, swooped down gleefully toward their head.  “Ah-haha, ha ha ha!” he squealed in delight as he zoomed past their ear.  They swatted in annoyance.  “It never gets old!” he shouted.  “This is the life, I tell you!”  Landing on the toothbrush by the sink he noticed that the human was leaving the room quite quickly.  “Never mind that” brewed the little green fly as he took off to the heights of the ceiling and did a few more loops around the room.

With a light pat he ended up on the wall.  It was eerily quiet in the room instead of the buzz-buzzing that had been before.  All of a sudden, a loud smack resounded throughout the bathroom.  The fly fell to his demise.  The human had returned, flyswatter in hand.

The Adventure Club

About three years ago, my sister and I formed this little club.  “The Adventure Club”.  The idea was that we would get out and do some fun activities that day to day life doesn’t really allow.  I think we went kayaking one time.  I can’t really remember why but it just never got off the ground.  I am a pretty active person and I like to run, exercise, and am starting to get into bike riding and kayaking a little.  Me and my sis have actually done a couple of races this year (a 5k and a Warrior Dash).  They were really fun and we want to do some more.  So, we decided to bring the “Adventure Club” back from the dead and give it one more shot. 

I figure that if we are already running and are planning on doing some bike runs and paddling then why not put a name to it and make it a little bit more official?  Perhaps it will help us to be a bit more dedicated.  I have already made a mental list of the activities that I want to undertake this summer and fall and they are: riding horses, kayaking, hiking to some special places in our area, indoor rock climbing, and running a 5k in september.

I think these are very “doable” and I am excited to have our little club again.  This past weekend was the kickoff and we went kayaking on the river.  It was pretty tame but that’s ok.  The point is getting out there and not just being one of those people who say “yeah lets go do ____ (insert activity) sometime” and then never follows through.  That is a pet peeve of mine and I decided some years ago that I didn’t want to be like that. Since that time I have tried to be a someone who follows through with what I say….

Anyhow, Adventure…Here we come!!!!

Solace in the Storm

I’ve never been scared of storms…

About two years ago, I was eight months pregnant and had just left work to go home.  About 7 minutes after I left work, my mom called me to warn me of a pop up storm that was going directly across my path.  She said it was really bad and that the news said there was tornadic activity in the storm.  I told her that it didn’t look like it was going to storm at all and I was only about 10 minutes from home.  I assured her that I thought I could make it home and it would be ok.  I stayed on the phone with her for a minute or two longer and in that amount of time (I kid you not!) the atmosphere completely changed. It began to get really windy and dark.  I hit rain. Hard rain.  So hard I could barely see.  I ended up turning around in the road, thinking maybe I could get back down the hill and pull off.  Somehow, by the grace of God, I made it back down the road.  I should’ve pulled off somewhere but, I just kept driving at a crawl thinking “just a little further and I’ll find a safe place”.  I was praying and crying almost the whole time.  Never had I felt so scared.  Never had I felt as out of control of things as I was.  Eventually I made it back to work.  By that time, the storm was just about done anyhow but I was shaken up and stayed there for a while.

Ever since then, I’m ashamed to say I’ve been a little scared of storms.  The area I live in was hit hard with tornadoes last year and that didn’t help.  But I guess it’s just been on my mind lately because we’ve had a couple “doozies” in the past two weeks.  Nothing too bad looking back, but scary for me at the time (crazy winds, some broken trees, hard rains).  That’s the thing about storms though, you don’t always know what one holds.

I found this verse today.  Psalm 56:3-4 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.  In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

These are amazing verses to me.  Even in the middle of a storm, I can and I have had comfort because I know that even if I am swallowed alive, that God is still with me and I am his child.  What a comfort!

(Picture from www.fanpop.com)

Needle in a Haystack

Ok, I admit it…I’m kindof a “messie”.  My house isn’t immaculately clean.  I try…OH, how I do try.  But, for some reason, I can never seem to get a handle on it! 

I think my least favorite chore is probably laundry.  I don’t mind the washing or drying…It’s the folding and putting away that are my downfalls.  For the past one or two months, the laundry baskets (full of clean clothes) have accumulated in our bedroom.  Whenever I can’t find an article of clothing, I just search through the baskets.  It started with about 1-2 baskets of clean clothes and slowly grew to 5-6 baskets.  All of them just sitting there waiting to be attended to!

I knew that I had to get on it and fold those clothes but I just kept putting it off for something else.  Finally, after searching for baby sock matches yesterday, I decided that I had to dedicate time to get this monotonous chore done.  By the way, baby socks are probably one of the most frustratingly annoying things to find in a pile of laundry.  It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack!  You find one and are diving into the pile after what you think is a match, only to come up with another tiny baby sock that is NOT a match. 

So, it was the baby sock “chasedown” combined with my husband sitting down in defeat and saying “I can’t find anything” (refering to the clothes in the basket) that has forced me to just get it over with and do the work.  I’m not afraid of hard work, I just don’t like this chore….oh well such is life!

Anyone have any items that they think are the worst to find in a big, fresh pile of laundry???

My Infertility Story

A couple of years ago, I had a blog about infertility.  Because it is an issue in my life that I have come face to face with.  I was part of an online community of other people who had experienced, or were experiencing various infertility issues.  It was a life changing experience for me.  I learned that I loved to blog.  I also loved being part of a tight knit community of online bloggers that had a passion for what they wrote about and cared about eachother.  This is one of the big reasons that I returned to blogging.  Because I had such a positive experience with it. 

I want to share my experience about my infertility here with you as well.  It is simple, yet so complex.  The emotions and experiences that go along with the inability to conceive are vast, deep and more often than not, painful. 

My husband and I were married in July 2004.  We weren’t in a rush to have kids but after a couple of years we started to wonder what was going on….I always suspected that something wasn’t right inside of me because at a young age my cycle became more and more irregular.  We eventually went to an infertility doctor and I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  We tried a cycle of clomid and it didn’t work.  At that point, we didn’t have insurance and going to an infertility doctor on a regular basis was not really an option.  I did participate in a study that gave me a small chance of conceiving as well. However it was to no avail. 

I began to let go.  I tried to be at peace with whatever God held for me, children or no children.  I started to blog as a way to let out feelings of frustration and sadness among other emotions.  I met others who had worse conditions than mine, or who had horrific stories of losing baby after baby, or multiple babies.  I learned so much from the people I met.  It was so therapeutic for me to have this community.  I began to pray in earnest for God to give me a child.  I prayed for a long time…..and nothing.  In July 2010, my oldest sister wanted to pray for me.  She and her husband pray for healing in a lot of situations.  She sat on my front porch step with me and held her hand on my belly and prayed to God for healing in this situation.  At the time, I was of the attitude ” Yeah, that’s nice and all, but I’ve already BEEN praying.   It’s probably not going to make a difference”.  So, I went about my business and kindof brushed the whole incident aside. 

However, late August 2010, I began to have some odd symptoms.  It all started with a severe headache one night at school.  I didn’t really think much about it though.  Then my ovaries began to ache. This I also disregarded because I thought it was just my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome acting up into overdrive or something.  Then I got really sore boobs and I got worried about breast cancer because my husbands aunt had just been diagnosed.  I was going to take an herb to try to help all of these symptoms and I thought “I better just take a pregnancy test…just in case…” This still wasn’t out of the norm for me though(because if you know many “infertiles” you know that sometimes we can be a little compulsive about taking pregnancy tests).  I took it…It was POSITIVE!!!!  I couldn’t believe it.  I still didn’t believe it until I went in and they ran bloodwork on me and my test came undeniably positive!  Now, almost two years later I have a beautiful baby boy who is 14 months old.  I love him with all my heart.  I know without a doubt that God gave me a miracle baby.  The chances of ME conceiving are SOO very small that this gift was straight from above.  I mean it, I have maybe 2 periods a year. That’s it. 

I know this is not the same answer for everyone who has infertility.  I know I don’t have all the answers.  I don’t know why God says yes sometimes and no other times.  I DO know that because of this experience, God has opened my eyes.  I am no longer the same person I was before.  I have a heart for those who struggle with infertility because I have been there and am in a way, still there.  I have been blessed with a child but my PCOS is still here.  I am still irregular and I don’t know if I will have any more children.  That makes me sad, but at the same time I am so grateful that I have what I have!  But, I can relate.  I still know people who have infertility struggles and it is heart wrenching.  I can just tear up talking about infertility in conversation with someone.  But, I want to be there for other people who are hurting and need support.  I want to encourage them in any way I can. 

So, thats my story. I wanted to write it out, in case I ever refer to it again on here you will know what I’m talking about.  Thanks for your time.

The difference between love and neglect

My “stray” cat had kittens on May 10th.  She had them under the house…UNDER THE HOUSE?!?! Why would she do that to me? I was devastated when I couldn’t find out where they were at because I realllly wanted to know how many she’d had and what they looked like.  So, when they finally emerged a little over a month later, I scooped them up and brought them into the house.  It took me a little bit to get them all because they were leery of people at this point but I did it and got them inside where I could spoil them rotten and socialize them so they would be suitable pets. 

All was well for about a month.  I pulled into the driveway when I got home the other day and heard a strange “meow” coming from under my husbands truck.  At first I thought I may have let one of our kittens get outside accidently.  After further investigation I realized that it was indeed a “lost kitten”.  I felt AWFUL! GUILTY! SADDENED!  All at once.  Somehow, I must have missed a kitten because it was not out with the others.  Of course the momma cat was still outside most of the time with it but it had been without my loving tender care for a month!  She came quickly to me and was very friendly though a little scared.  She was a little skinny but by that evening she was happily curled up with the other 5 littermates.  That warmed my heart a bit. 

I guess what I’ve taken from this is that I was amazed at how neglected she was.  And yet, how quickly she became a thriving, sweet little kitten.  She ate up the attention and extra sweetness she was given and is doing great now.  Every time I think of this, my mind draws an analogy to humans especially children, who have been hurt and neglected, but still need the love and affection of others. They need someone who cares for them and can help heal their hurts. It made me sad to think of that one kitten who wasn’t really taken care of.  But, it makes me much sadder to think about the number of children who need someone in their life to show them love. 

I pray that God will use me and my family to make a difference in someone’s life, just like we made a difference to that little kitten.